Will 2024 Be the Year I Quit Social Media?
It's all just the season... reflections for the new year that look basically the same as last year.
It is the first day of 2024.
Over the last few days, I have seen a lot of posts reminding us we don’t have to feel compelled to compare our year to others’ “highlights reels”. We can be happy with just getting through.
At the same time, I actually haven’t seen too many “2023 Recaps”. Maybe they’re still coming. Maybe I’ve been intentionally absent from social media most of this week and am just not seeing them.
At any rate, I’m sitting out from posting about my year and the algorithms seems to be reflecting that vibe (as much as a social media algorithm can support such a concept).
In my journal yesterday, I jotted down a list of things I did in 2023. It was a brain dump that included everything from “went to therapy” to “surfed in Costa Rica” to “brought two notices of motion forward”.
What stands out is much of what I wrote down would never show up in an Instagram “Top 9” (is that even still a thing?) or fit on a “Top 5” list at all. It’s a collection of learnings, conversations, accomplishments and experiences, good and bad. It’s kind of messy and mashed together, as life is.
A few years ago, I might have stressed about posting my highlights. (Does anything scream privilege more than that sort of stress?) After nearly two decades though, social media’s utility is fading for me. I am gravely concerned with its impact on our society and how it impacts our own brains.
Like many, I don’t know how to get off it fully when it’s so interwoven into our lives, but I intend to keep trying.
Maybe one way is to look for the good I get from social media, then find other ways to achieve that.
For example, I get joy from friends’ Christmas photos and love receiving their cards. So, maybe making the time to send my own cards next (this) year will give me the same dopamine boost but from a physical and tangible point of connection, instead of the screen.
Then, there’s the topic of the news and keeping informed about the community. I am so appreciative of what The Owen Sound Current has brought to our area. If you live near Owen Sound, it’s full of events and activities and providing more news all the time.
I am also cheering for our little volunteer-led paper to expand its reach in our community. For January, I submitted a good news story about a local boy who raised over $16,000 for our Hospice in December. It has been all over social media, but aren’t these also the kind of stories we want captured in print to serve as a history of this time in the future?
I hope others will feel compelled to do more of the same.
Finally, making time to just be in community is as good a way as any to feel connected and learn what’s going on. Whether it’s lingering to chit chat with a neighbour, getting out to activities that seem interesting (even if I have to go by myself) or spending an afternoon working in a coffee shop, there are many ways for connection outside social if we seek them.
Social media makes us lazy. With a few clicks and shares we can tell ourselves we’ve done something when, in fact, we’ve just fed the algorithmic beast and maybe not reached anyone at all. It’s easy to feel like we don’t have the time to do the things we used to do and these apps are somehow solving this. But they’re not really, are they?
I think of how often I am about to start a task and then open Facebook or Instagram, usually absentmindedly, and then thirty minutes has gone by. If I remember what I was planning to do to start with, I usually have less ambition to do it after scrolling.
Then, there is all the “stuff” we come across on social media that ends up living rent- free in our brains, taking away valuable real estate we need to focus on more pressing and important things. How much time have I spent noodling the right response to some misinformation I’ve seen posted and can’t rest until I’ve “corrected” it with my comment.
I think if we put our phones down, we’ll actually discover we have quite a lot more time for community than we realize.
Funny enough, when I look back at what I wrote on January 1, 2023 for the year ahead, it’s many of the same things I’m thinking about today:
Spend less time on social media.
Be more present.
Allow more art in my life.
To continue learning and growing.
And in my post last January, I also landed on getting into the community as one cure for the melancholy I was feeling. Further proof the calendar is just a made up concept. When we turn that page on a new year, the world around us does not change. Only our expectations change, if that’s what we choose.
This year, I’ve also been considering what it means to be in this season. It is the season of winter, but also broadly, even as I am a day older or even one year older, I am still in this “mid-life”, “portal” season. I am a little wiser, as a result of a year of experiences, but reflection shows I am still mostly unchanged in my hopes, dreams, worries and fears. These things take longer and ongoing practice to shift.
And as I reflect on this, I realize one reason this “nothing week” between Christmas and New Years, “Betwixmas”, as Lee Tilghman of Offline Time refers to it, is so fraught for so many of us, is because we mistakenly think we can fit an entire season into it. We try to do too much.
Winter is the season for introspection, reflection and rest. It’s the time to take stock of things and set our intentions for the coming year.
Intuitively, our bodies know this, and we find ourselves at odds with the expectations we layer on during the holiday season and the innate desire to rest. We feel ourselves wanting to do nothing at the same time we feel the urge to get on with planning for the year ahead.
As Anne Helen Petersen wrote last year,
“It’s okay for a week to go nowhere, whether you’re working or caretaking or on break from school or feeling ennui, and whether that week is this week or a wholly different season when those feelings arrive. I’m telling myself that as much as I’m telling you. I’m trying to heed how my response to this week emphasizes the parts of me that are still need of listening, in need of settling, in need of care. To remember just how much happens in fallow ground.”
Fallow ground. A concept of leaving land unplanted for a season or more, so it can regenerate and restore its nutrients. It’s also long been a metaphor for personal development and growth.
Yet, just like today’s agriculture systems, we are not accustomed to rest or time for doing nothing anymore. When we do have this privilege, we feel we should fill the time.
And possibly, for many of us, this week between Christmas and New Years has become the ONLY time we allow ourselves to do this introspective work. And so it feels both very important but also like never enough time.
I went into last week with intentions to do as little as possible and not feel guilty about it. My week was full of couch naps, overly long dog cuddles, reading from my stack of books and binging The Crown. I wrote a little, journaled and visited with family and friends. Mostly, I rested.
What I better understand today is this was easier done this year because I was just carrying out the practice I’ve been trying to do all year; rest, reflect, be present and look after myself. I didn’t try to cram a season’s worth of rest into the last seven days.
If your schedule has been less relaxing and you’re feeling the pull of winter, I hope you can lean into it in the coming weeks. Exploring what serves you and restores your energy to create some routines in your life is important. And at the very least, give yourself the grace to just rest if that’s all you can manage. There’s still three more months of winter and this is the season. :)
Weekly Link Round-up
What I'm reading, listening too and generally enjoying and challenged by this week
Trevor Noah interviews Tristan Harris on his podcast “What Now?” - They talk AI and delve a little into social media, as Harris is best known for “The Social Dilemma” documentary (also a must-see if you haven’t), and I have been thinking about this conversation since.
Owen Sound Memoir Series - I’m excited for this new local initiative which celebrates memoirs, including works published, authors and the process of writing them. The first event will be held next month with Canadian comedian, CBC Radio Host and author, Ali Hassan in Owen Sound. More events are being planned and memoir enthusiasts are invited to get involved.
In the spirit of being offline, I loved this little poem in Offline Time. It’s a good reminder to pick up the phone or pop by a friend’s house for a visit and catch up, rather than expecting them to see your social posts.
Is Gynecology the Best Innovation Ever? - If I had a “just trust me” link, this one would be it. This listen was fascinating and not at all what I was expecting.
The Life Sized City - I came across this series on the Documentary channel and really enjoyed the episode about Toronto. It is another great reminder that placemaking and building community don’t require complicated processes and detailed plans. They just need people who care and want to make their city / town / neighbourhood great. I’m looking forward to watching more episodes.